nd talked about current events and the day. Well, it was until we ordered the appetizers when my picture perfect scenario was shattered. John and I decided to order some buffalo wings before our main entree. So as we sipped on our wine and the waiter placed the platter of buffalo wings in front of us. What I witnessed before me as John ate was unbelievable. John picked up a buffalo wing and like slow motion he dipped it into the creamy ranch dressing ...and like a ravenous hyena he ripped into the flesh of the wing, his teeth tightly clenched on the meat and gobbled it up. Ranch dressing splattered all over his face and to make matters worse he talked with his mouth full. John continued to shred each buffalo wing with his canines and splattered white ranch dressing all over the place. I'd pay anything to see my expression as John devoured the buffalo wings right before my eyes. John chomped on the chicken flesh in between subjects, verbs, nouns and other parts of speech. All I saw were my legs hanging off his lips. Chomp, chomp, chomp. Oh no, I thought to myself, there was nooooooo way that I'd allow that mouth, those teeth, or those lips anywhere near my body. Uh-uh. My future flashed before me or better yet my imagination.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Buffalo Wings And First Dates
If you've read my previous post entitled What Does Cinnamon Pancakes, Sliced Tomatoes, and Scrambled Egg Whites Have To Do With Sex then you know how I feel about eating. Once I was on this first date with this guy that I met in college. Let's call him, John. John took me to a nice restaurant by the ocean in Long Beach, CA. Great so far right ? Yeah, the conversation was smooth, he was dressed nice, brought me flowers and behaved like a perfect gentleman. We sipped on red wine a
nd talked about current events and the day. Well, it was until we ordered the appetizers when my picture perfect scenario was shattered. John and I decided to order some buffalo wings before our main entree. So as we sipped on our wine and the waiter placed the platter of buffalo wings in front of us. What I witnessed before me as John ate was unbelievable. John picked up a buffalo wing and like slow motion he dipped it into the creamy ranch dressing ...and like a ravenous hyena he ripped into the flesh of the wing, his teeth tightly clenched on the meat and gobbled it up. Ranch dressing splattered all over his face and to make matters worse he talked with his mouth full. John continued to shred each buffalo wing with his canines and splattered white ranch dressing all over the place. I'd pay anything to see my expression as John devoured the buffalo wings right before my eyes. John chomped on the chicken flesh in between subjects, verbs, nouns and other parts of speech. All I saw were my legs hanging off his lips. Chomp, chomp, chomp. Oh no, I thought to myself, there was nooooooo way that I'd allow that mouth, those teeth, or those lips anywhere near my body. Uh-uh. My future flashed before me or better yet my imagination.
nd talked about current events and the day. Well, it was until we ordered the appetizers when my picture perfect scenario was shattered. John and I decided to order some buffalo wings before our main entree. So as we sipped on our wine and the waiter placed the platter of buffalo wings in front of us. What I witnessed before me as John ate was unbelievable. John picked up a buffalo wing and like slow motion he dipped it into the creamy ranch dressing ...and like a ravenous hyena he ripped into the flesh of the wing, his teeth tightly clenched on the meat and gobbled it up. Ranch dressing splattered all over his face and to make matters worse he talked with his mouth full. John continued to shred each buffalo wing with his canines and splattered white ranch dressing all over the place. I'd pay anything to see my expression as John devoured the buffalo wings right before my eyes. John chomped on the chicken flesh in between subjects, verbs, nouns and other parts of speech. All I saw were my legs hanging off his lips. Chomp, chomp, chomp. Oh no, I thought to myself, there was nooooooo way that I'd allow that mouth, those teeth, or those lips anywhere near my body. Uh-uh. My future flashed before me or better yet my imagination.
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